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Friday, May 30, 2008

Things To Do In An Elevator

These struck me as funny. Would you do any of these? 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse and, while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you 'Admiral'. 14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while and then announce, "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now - motion sickness!" 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger. 20. Meow occasionally. 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 22. Frown and mutter, "gotta go, gotta go." Then, sigh and say, "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing Mary Had a Little Lamb while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp and then say, "mmmm... tasty!" 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?" 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space'. 41. Bring a chair along. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 46. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 47. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger." 48. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad Touch

4 comments:

Amyan said...

lol

Unknown said...

Number 41--

You're too young to remember, but elevators used to have persons operating them. They indeed sat in a chair, and when you entered they said, "Floor, please."

Funny post--

sjbuxton
www.writenow.wordpress.com

Modest Activewear said...

I ACTUALLY THINK I MIGHT TRY SOME OF THESE....LOL I LAUGHED VERY HARD!!! THANX, I NEEDED THAT.

CORI

MysticsKryten said...

would i try some of those?? most definitely!! in fact... I think i have done some of those... and i wonder why people think i'm a strange one! thanks for the laughs! -Sonia

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