Things To Do In An Elevator

These struck me as funny. Would you do any of these? 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse and, while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you 'Admiral'. 14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while and then announce, "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now - motion sickness!" 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger. 20. Meow occasionally. 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 22. Frown and mutter, "gotta go, gotta go." Then, sigh and say, "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing Mary Had a Little Lamb while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp and then say, "mmmm... tasty!" 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 'through' it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?" 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space'. 41. Bring a chair along. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 46. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 47. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger." 48. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad Touch

Some Personal Thoughts on Gas Prices

I know, I know it seems like everybody is talking about gas these days and how outrageous it is and how the world is ending tomorow . Let me offer some of my personal thoughts. In an ever changing society, not only do people change but the economy changes. Things become different. Lifestyles change. Ways of doing things change. And sometimes its not a bad thing, its just change. When the Civil War happened, the world changed. When 9/11 struck, the world changed. Now don't get me wrong, I am not comparing the price of gas to 9/11, but it is the same principle.....the economy is changing. Alot of us resist change alot of the time. Facts say that 90% of people resist change when something new comes along. This is where I think the oil company's are making their mistake. The world is changing. If there was ever a time NOT to raise gas prices, this would be the time. This change in society is causing us to find new sources of energy and strike out to places we have never been before.... therefore, as technology progresses, and we become less dependent on oil than we have ever been before, what is going to happen to the gas company's? Demand will decrease, therefore profits will decrease and gas will come down. NOW, what happens to the oil company's in 5-6 years down the road when we are totally dependent on another source besides oil. I don't think they will go under. The extra profit they are making right now is going in reserve. The gouging and the sticking of prices right now is causing us to take route on another path. The US is the most advanced research country in all the world and I guarantee you they WILL find another alternative to fuel. Wages are not rising. The American people bear the brunt of this and wont put up with it. Pretty soon, everybody will be driving little Pintos again..powered from grease you just had your fries in.... Comeone oil company's.....wake up. But still yet another thought comes up. Gas prices cant go down...they have to change with the economy. Now I don't agree with the price that it is at right now (average US cost $3.94 per gallon), but I do agree with the thought that they have to rise sometime. Its simple cost and demand. It cant stay at $2.09 per gallon forever. I think when everything settles down, it will be at an average of $3.50 per gallon. Just some ramblings.....

Steven Curtis Chapmans Daughter Dies in Car Accident

I was saddened to hear that Steven Curtis Chapmans daughter, Maria, had been killed in an automobile accident yesterday. It was such a terrible tragedy and this family has done so much for others. Please keep them in your prayers. If you want to learn more, you can go here.

How Rednecks Play Horseshoes

Cancer Fundraiser

This weekend I walked for cancer in the "relay for life" walkathon for "Team Shane". A lot of you may remember Shane Champlain who recently passed away from cancer. I hate when people say "lost the battle". It's not like Shane lost anything. We lost something, but he actually won life forever. Sure it was a battle going through all that he and his family went through, but no matter which way you look at it, he still won. He's up there where all of us want to go one day, so that means he actually won the race. HE BEAT ME! I got to know him later in his life, but what I got to know of him was a privilege to know. He was an incredible musician and a fun guy to be around. You can visit his website and memorial page at http://www.shanescause.org/. Please keep this family prayer.

They raised I think close to $160,000. What a great day! They had booth's and at night time they lit thousands of candles around the track, each inscribed with the name and memorial to every person that had died of cancer that had a friend or relative there. I was really taken back when I got there. All of the people who were there to support this had somehow lost a friend or loved one and still had so much strength. It really open up your eyes to how much of this really goes on. Hopefully one day soon they will find a cure for this.

Robyn Champlain, Shanes mom

Doyle Champlain

Eternal Investments

Here is a presentation I put together for the Western District Conference Foreign Missions Service. The theme for this year (08'-09') is entitled "Eternal Investments". It was alot of fun to make and it was cool to see everybody again on Tuesday night. Really good crowd.

Dottie Rambo 1934-2008

When I heard the news today that Dottie Rambo had passed away in a tragic bus accident, I was kind of taken back. I had grown up listening to her music. I remember my Grandma giving me her records and I would stay up late nights listening to the Rambo's singing songs like "On The Sunny Banks". I remember back in 1998 when I saw her at a General Conference in Nashville, TN. Bro. Urshan got up and said "we are glad to have Dottie Rambo here with us" and they showed her down sitting by Sis. Urshan. What a cool night! I was sitting there just in awe. There was the person that I had always heard so much about.

Joyce "Dottie" Rambo was fatally injured in a bus accident in southwest Missouri early Sunday morning. The bus was on the way to a Mother's Day performance in North Richland Hills, Texas, and was traveling through high winds when it ran off the road and hit an embankment approximately two miles east of Mount Vernon on Interstate 44. Seven other individuals were traveling with Dottie on the bus and received moderate to severe injuries, according to a highway patrol; those individuals were hospitalized in Springfield. Dottie Rambo was a beloved friend and legend in the Gospel Music community. She wrote more than 2,500 published songs during her 74 years, including classics such as "He Looked Beyond My Fault and Saw My Need" and the 1982 Gospel Music Association Song of the Year, "We Shall Behold Him."

What an example to songwriters. I often wonder what people think about when they are writing. Dottie had to have quite an imagination. Just the concept of he looked beyond my faults and saw my needs is so incredible. She painted a picture that nobody else could paint. She left a legacy and will be missed greatly.

Fun Weekend

What a Saturday! Although the thought of getting up at 6:00 am on a Saturday sounds less-exciting, it was really quite a fun day. I started off the day by trying out a new restaurant in town (new to me) called "The Western Coffeepot" with Dan McDermott. He convinced me that their platters were humongous! He proved to be right. I couldn't even finish my biscuits and gravy. It was actually very good.

After finishing up, I went back to the church to help in the schools yard sale and car wash. Every year at the end of that school year, the 6th, 7th, and 8th graders go to Marine World, so they were raising money for that. They started yesterday and finished up today. It was quite a success.

A little after 10:00, I went home and got ready for the highlight of the day. I was going up to Shingle Springs for a concert. Every year the Shingle Springs church hosts an annual songfest for whoever wants to come free of charge. The Pastor, Bro. Kelley, has put this on for the last 4 years and it has been such a fun thing since it began. It took place at his church this year and it was the most perfect spot for a concert. The shady trees, the cool breeze (loaded with pollen I might add) and the people there made it an awesome time.

I got there about 11:30 (it started at 12), and as I was getting out, so were Tim Spell and Larry Carter. These guys are some of the most down to earth people you will ever meet. Really fun to be around. Gary Harding started off the concert about 12:15 and did some awesome southern style guitar picking. He did 3 songs and following him was Larry Carter, who also did 3 songs.

Then I was up and did 3 songs, the last one being "I cant even walk (without you holding my hand), with Bro. Larry and Bro. Tim. Then it was time for Tim Spell.

Now if you have ever been to one of these concerts, you know that whenever Tim Spells time comes, he likes to play the piano and sing. This was a blast. He called everybody back up and had Aaron Underwood on the drums, Larry Carter on the guitar, Gary Harding on the bass, him on the keys, and me and Larry singing with him as a trio on all the old songs. What a blast! We finished up with "Suppertime" I think and then it was time for a break

Larry Carter is hilarious. The guy was cracking jokes all day long, AND THEY WERE ONES I HAVENT HEARD!

It was time start back up again and it was the same format this time as the first half. Gary Harding started off and then Larry Carter, then Gina, Bro Kelleys daughter, sang, and then me and then once again Bro. Spell. This time he started off with "Nothin' Like Being Able" an then "When God unfolds the Rose". Then again all the guys came up and we went live again. I have to admit I like singing some of the old songs better than the new ones. Just something about them.

We did about 6 songs together. One of these songs was "All Night Long" written by Gary Harding. Alot of people don't know he wrote it, but he did and it's a good song.

Well it was 4:00 and the concert was over. Everybody seemed to have had a really good time. There was a little time to kill before dinner, so I went to Jamba Juice with Larry Carter and Tim Spell. Strawberries Wild!! My favorite. I don't like the free boost shot though. I personally think they are disgusting. After Jamba, we went back over to the hotel and sat in the lobby for awhile talking about websites while Bro. Tim tried to figure out his phone. (I tried to tell them if they went with something Windows based they wouldn't have any problems).

Time for dinner. Bro. Kelley took us to a special Tai' place they have there in Shingle Springs and it was delicious. The Tai' tea I could have done without, but the food was outstanding. It was already 8:00! We left the restaurant and went back to the hotel. I said goodbye to everybody and headed home. What a Saturday! Thanks Bro. Kelley for the opportunity and the great day.

On the way

The Stage

Bro Kelley Praying

Gary Harding starting things off

Larry Carter

Some of the crowd

Yours Truly

Tim Spell

The Trio

The "Gang"

The "tea" I was telling you about

Technology In The Modern Day

New wi-fi devices warn doctors of heart attacks

The Bluetooth wireless technology that allows people to use a hands-free earpiece while making a mobile telephone call could soon alert the emergency services when someone has a heart attack, Ofcom predicts. The communications regulator said that sensors could be implanted into people at risk of heart attack or diabetic collapse that would allow doctors to monitor them remotely. If the “in-body network” recorded that the person had suddenly collapsed, it would send an alert, via a nearby base station at their home, to a surgery or hospital. However, Ofcom also gave warning in its report, Tomorrow’s Wireless World, that the impact of such technology on personal privacy would require more debate. The technology, which is being tested now in Portsmouth, could also be used if a patient failed to take his or her medicines. A pill dispenser would send an automatic reminder and, if the pills were not taken within a certain time, an alarm would sound and a message would be sent to the patient’s family or carers. However, health experts say that they are sceptical about the level of take-up of “in-body” sensors while research into the possible radiation impact of wi-fi networks is going on. The Ofcom report also said that advances in GPS positioning and short-range wireless technologies could “revolutionise the way we conduct our journeys and safety levels on the roads”. Intelligent transport systems being developed by car manufacturers allowed cars to communicate with each other and send alerts about sudden braking. If a collision happened the car’s system could automatically call the emergency services. The technology could also apply the brakes automatically if it was determined that two cars were getting too close to each other. Paramedics attending the scene of an accident would carry a small computer that would pick up wireless messages from a bracelet incorporated in the driver’s watch. These would enable them to gain access to information about his or her medical history. The European Commission is discussing whether to allow the “e-Call” automatic emergency call-out, which could be on the market by 2011. A recent trial suggested that the technology could cut ten minutes off the time for the emergency services to reach the scene of an accident and a 15 per cent reduction in fatalities. Ofcom said that drivers could be helped by further advances in sat-nav technology. Signals would alert drivers to congestion ahead and then calculate whether their proposed journey would be quicker by train. Wireless communication technology could also enable food items to carry microchips containing information on their contents. This would allow, for example, nut allergy sufferers to be alerted if they inadvertently picked up an item containing nuts. Ofcom concluded that wireless communication was now “integral to our lives”. It said that the Government must decide how to prepare for future demands on the radio frequencies, or spectrums, that wireless services use. Wireless congestion, with wi-fi users “piggybacking” on other people’s connections, must not result in interference in potentially life-saving communications, it added. Peter Ingram, Ofcom’s chief technology officer, said: “This report demonstrates the many creative ways that the radio spectrum can be used for the benefit of citizens. But other bodies will have to decide whether the transfer of personal data, which these advances involve in the medical sphere, is appropriate for the benefits.” Why Bluetooth? Named after King Harald Bluetooth of Denmark and Norway, who unified warring tribes in the 3rd century. Bluetooth was likewise intended to unify different technologies Source: Times database

Oh and also I thought this was a funny picture

New Blogger Friend

I am adding a new blogger to my friends. Her name is Mariah McDermott and she has been writing some incredible devotionals since she started about a month ago that I love reading. I have known her and her family ever since I was, I think 7. Her and her husband Dan have 3 kids and are just fun to be around. If you get a chance, check out her blog here.

Southern Slang

I lived in Mississippi for about 5 years and here are a few words I picked up on. HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?" CHESTER DRAWERS.... (noun) an item used to place folded clothesUsage: "Mawma, where's my new tube socks?" "Dija check 'da chester drawers?" BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Biggest city is Berminhayum.Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a burger." IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart.Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!" RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh." RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country." DID - (adjective) - Not alive.Usage: "He's did, Jim." EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!" BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" HAZE - a contraction.Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf." SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see". VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?" GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.